On sex appeal & economics:

Dancing in the lap of luxury

- by 'Lil Missy Aynnie Thropy

The other thing I really love about working at my club is what a learning experience it has been for me and the groovy girls I share the stage with. Definitely the smartest, coolest chicks work here. Sure, they're sexy babes, but they're no dumb cookies either.

Think about it. If you had the potential to make a butt-load of dough –say like $300-$600 in an eight hour shift just for doing what comes naturally for most foxy girls, WHY would one opt to get pimped out to temp agencies (the Only way to get a job these days without blowing anybody it seems, unless Aaron Spelling's your daddy. Poor Monica Lewinsky was probably just applying for a paid position in the Clinton staff!) To, more than likely, end up in some shlumpy job with people you don't know, underpaid, with no benefits since you probably won't be there long enough to qualify, to profit the agents who set up this pernicious system in the first place? Fuck that!

Did you know that the largest employer in the country is a temporary employment agency? It's no small coincidence. For every $12/hr your agency pays you, your agent collects upwards of $20/ hr from the company you worked for. Someone's getting fat & it ain't you; you've got to spend your money keeping your "corporate wardrobe" up-to-date, your car running, and your basic needs met, but barely. Hell, I've got marketable skills; my last straight job was doing movie ad layout for an agency which dealt with the major newspapers. You know when you open up the paper to the film section? Well, let's say you were gonna go check out "Daylight" -remember that Sly Stallone vehicle that came out end of '96? Well, I put together the ads you saw with the title graphic & the various theaters (those little boxes are called "sig's") that were screening it that week. Ten bucks an hour -before taxes. Waitresses make more money.

So fuck all that noise. If I can make more money doing less work just by virtue as being a smart, youthful, attractive, sexy female, why shouldn't I exploit my (albeit socially defined) assets? After all, they are my assets to exploit and better they profit me than ten strangers I've imbued with the power to tell me where to go, what to look like, and when & how to function for 40 hours every week of my life until they can’t USE me anymore! Before it's off to find another "master"? Go to Hell! I can think for myself, thank you.

Ironically, I've spoken with (usually young) men who tell me they don't patronize "gentlemen's clubs" because they think they are exploitative. And, it's true, we DO exploit the men - financially, anyway. And why not? They would LOVE to exploit us sexually, if they could. But if working the broad spectrum of straight jobs -save for retail- has taught me anything, it is that people WILL exploit you if you let them (Not to mention certain zine publisher's!). Sure, some clubs exploit the dancers rapaciously. It's like the cabal of larger club cartels, among them convicted tax-evader Raymond Moody & his nationwide string of "Déjà vu"/"Showgirls"/"Little Darlings" clubs. But the dancers are letting them do it. After all, no one comes into the club to hang out with the managers, drink soda, & listen to the amazing DJ. Without the girls, there is no show - period. Now, as we learned before, there will always be people who are unsavvy (dare I say DUMB) or desperate enough to work under these conditions, if they believe they have no choice. These individuals often learn they have little or no worth to speak of from their dysfunctional family & school experiences, and it truly is a sad thing when one is dis-empowered like that from the get go.

That is why I qualified my opening statement by saying My club (the club I work at). Here I share the stage with women of all types, the bulk of which are in their mid-to-late 20s (of course we’re all eternally 22 or 23!), but varying in ages from 18 to, well, we wouldn't want to ask, but let's just say "older women", of all (fit) natural & modified body shapes, sizes, & styles. From young punkettes, hipster chickies (me, natch!), "girl next door"-types, sporty & athletic, to glamorous showgirls, representing every combination of ethnicity, hair color & lifestyle. In spite of our uniqueness the unifying factors we possess are a love of our personal freedom, individuality, performance, & style.

Any bimbo can take her clothes off. It is the subtle nuances: eye contact, body language, gauging the audience’s preferences and factoring them in with your music & costumes, your timing, skill, & innate talent -the MOOD you create, that makes a woman a captivating dancer. We all do the best with what we’ve got, at least I hope so. But there are always mitigating circumstances, like stressors intrinsic to us, stressors from the outside world which we bring to work, and atmospheric "pressure", i.e. the moods of our co-workers & the vibes from the audience, that affect our performance. These things are true of any job, from farming to banking.

We've all been taught by advertisements, television, and especially popular music that some women just have "it" – whatever "it" is that makes men react - makes strong men weak, makes weak men run. That indefinable quality of "sex appeal". Given that I've been a feminine, heterosexual woman all my years, and it's been my bread & butter at least since I started dancing last December, I've given a lot of thought to what "it" is.

We all know someone who we think is DDG (drop dead gorgeous), yet hates themselves and can often be found hiding at home with her cats (not a bad thing). But you know the type; she usually hitches up with the first guy to ask her, miserable and loving it ‘cos she's so "unworthy" & she got what she "deserved" & would expect nothing better... Yawn. We’ll more than likely see that heel she's betrothed to spending their vacation money’ in the club! (Poor biddy, she was sooo looking forward to seeing her sister & parents over the holidays. What does he care? After all, he earned it, it's HIS money, right? Not anymore. Now it's MY money.)

Conversely, we all know someone who maybe ain’t "all that" yet can pick & choose who she'll spend any amount of time with. What does she have that makes her so hot?? In a nutshell: SELF-CONFIDANCE, imagination, maybe intelligence, and probably a good wit. When you are comfortable with your "self"; you enjoy living in your own body, have a realistic yet positive self-image, you have skills & goals and take pride in pursuing your interests well, that inner energy shines from your whole being and "You look "RADIANT" today, darling"! Who says you can't fuck personality? Never are we more attractive than when we're glowing with that life-force: energy. After all, what is magnetism? Without it, we appear life-less - and you don't want to attract the vultures who find THAT sexy.

Hell, noted psychologist Wilhelm Reich died in prison here in These United States© for positing that the sex drive, or "libido", was inextricably linked to the life force. Lose the sexual energy that compels us to "mate", fuels our will to live, and drives the procreative impulses which make us so successful as a species, and we seem unhealthy, not-quite-all-there. After time, we no longer just appear ill, we actually get sick and, ultimately, we die. Think about someone you know who was terminally ill or perhaps just elderly. How long after they lost interest in sex and let go of their Will to Live did it take them to "Give up the Ghost". Dis-ease is a progressive, degenerative emotional state that lowers our physical immunity, and leaves us prone to actual disease, injury, and death. Low self-esteem is NOT SEXY.

Other components of sex-appeal I have noticed are a good sense of humor, a modicum (at least) of intelligence, and a decent (read: indecent!) imagination. Who doesn't want a creative, playful lover who is fun in the sack? You've got to have a good (read: wild) imagination to keep your mutual interest aroused & I think it’s fucken important to be able to laugh at all the silly screw-ups (no pun intended -this is no laughing matter!!) that crop up when your gettin' down. If you can't laugh about it, you're taking it and probably yourself too damn seriously and should go get your dick wet somewhere else!

Intelligence helps, too, ‘cos generally a dumb fuck translates into: boring lay. For every sexual person on the planet, there is a different way to get off. You oughtta know, if you don't already! Orgasmic thresholds vary for each of us & I, for one, take a great deal of pleasure in exploring the pleasure of my lucky Sex Bomb, Baby! But it's not something we intuit, entirely. More, we discover our mutual & individual preferences by trial & error, & it's through this process of elimination that we become amazing lovers. Together these things, coupled with experience and a good memory, add up to a lover who is "all that and a post-orgasmic cigarette", and you can quote me on that!

CUMMING UP: We'll explore the patrons’ motivations, expose some clichés about dancers, sing the praises of some of the great women it's been my pleasure to work with & find out their motivations, demystify the work environment -stage dancing, getting a lapdance, what goes on in the private booth, what is a lap-dance, what is (& isn't) allowed, security & self-policing, etc. AND, we'll explore some of the attitudes and hang-ups outsiders have about the sex industry. We’ll also cop to the down-sides to this sort of work, the hours, public & social opinions, the impact of drug use/abuse, & the effect of the ebb & flow income on one's lifestyle.

Right now I have to go get me a breakfast sandwich & OJ before they stop serving 'em, & get myself to bed. I've got to go to work tonight!
 

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