I finally found a job where
I can't get fired!
I finally found a job where I am actually
on TIME,
Mainly because they charge me $$ if I'm late-
proving the validity of "operant conditioning".
I have finally
found my true calling because here I
can flirt w/ men who reward me w/ bills w/large
##'s
on them! A professional flirt! HA! Who knew
such an
occupation even existed?
I luv my job
because - I GRIND COCK FOR A LIVING!
What's more, I don't have to deal w/ their bodily
juices, TALK to them in the morning, or any
of the
petty bullshit I'd have to wade thru w/ a Boyfriend
(yek!)- I've got enough problems, dude.
My job is really
neat-o 'cuz I get to feel upall
sorts of strange men & find out if, for
example, it
is true what they say about Asian men......ItIS
true that Dog has blessed the Irish. Damn,Sam!!!!!!!
My job is also
REALLY cool because I have an excuse
to go Shopping - the favorite pass-time of any
self-respecting Valley Girl. AND, everything
from the
chonies I buy & getting my nails done ("myuniform"),
to copious alcohol binges & the sumptuous
sushi
feasts I indulge myself in (while "working",no
less!) are "food & drink consumed at work"&
therefore
TAX-DEDUCTIBLE.
My job ROCKS!
CAN I get a WITNESS?!
Oh yeah, for the low, low price of $52 (ifI'm
on
time, $10 for every half hour you're late!)
I get to
come & go at my leisure. So, like tonightfor
example
I'll probably bail & go to Paradise. I'm
horny as
fuck & may as well check out the scene &
see if I can
line up some real dick for tomorrow, seeing
as I
don't have to work but three days a week to
make some
decent scratch! Ahhhhhh, a goyl'z gadda
do what a goyl'z gadda do.
So It's really
cool that I found a
job where I can Have a life. Ya know, make a
coupla
hundy's, check out some bands (I wasn't aboutto
miss
Caroliner, bay-bay ! ), go to a party, see a
movie, or
just get slammed at the bar.......then come
back, do
a stage, make a round, make sum DALLA's, homey!
Add to this the
fact that by working 7pm to 3am three
times a week, I can avoid the nuisance of those
nincumpoops
who work 9-5. Those bastards will never fire
ME again.
Oh YEAH, I really luv dancing for the type of
guys who woulda
underemployed & underpaid me, only to indignify
me by
telling me how to answer a fuckin' phone,'cuz
I
LOVE looking them in the eye & telling them
that for
one approx. three minute bliss session w/ moi
is gonna cost
them $100 - at that is SOOOOOOOO not negotiable.
Uh oh, gotta
go smoke a cig & jump in the shower. I'm
up in thirty minutes! Heaven's, where has the
time
gone? Then it's "Two tickets to Paradise". Whoa,
I
RULE. My own radlyness so overwhelms even me
sometimes, but what I love most about me is
my great
modesty & humility, don't you poopski??
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